I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
