I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
