with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
