dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
