You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
