I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
