Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
