I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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