So drunk its hurt
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
