I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
