I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
