I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
