There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
