So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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