did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
