I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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