So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
