im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
