1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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