Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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