I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
