I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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