Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
