And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
