you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
