I accidentally burped into my bong.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
