So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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