It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
