exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My ATM looks so different sober.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
