Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
