her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
