wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
