Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize