I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
