no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
