some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
