She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
