I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
