i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
