That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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