Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
