When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
