Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
