you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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