she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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