I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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