break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
