sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize