When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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