When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize