I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
