just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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