she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you traded sex for a burrito?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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