Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
