Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
