I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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