Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
