I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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