Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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