you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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