end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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